donkey kong bananza - 8/10
donkey kong does what mari-don't
god DAMN. that's what i call a 3d platformer, man. just what i needed after my last couple of games being a bit... let's say, "all over the place".
donkey kong bananza kind of came out of nowhere for me. i was actively dreading it when it was announced at that fateful direct; i rolled my eyes and sighed. yes, cool that DK's back after such a hiatus (tropical freeze is one of the best platformers ever made to such a point that nobody wanted to top it in the decade that passed), but simultaneously, and this is my big ol' controversial take: i really do not like super mario odyssey. i would go so far as to say that super mario odyssey is a bloated, overrated mess of a game that is too concerned with length of content rather than depth and especially quality, made all the worse by the fact that you effectively have to engage with a fair chunk of it to move on. far gone were the days of the humble super mario 64 sandbox, where it was rather closed in and you could get all the stars inside of 10 minutes if you knew what you were doing, or even the more linear sunshine and galaxy approaches where you were loaded into a variant of the level to go face a specific gauntlet for each collectible (my personal favorite approach). pair that with a gimmick that i felt was meant to make up for that lack of depth that simply did not click with me due to it, itself, honestly feeling sort of lackluster to me, and i was really incredibly turned off by that game. its movement felt more restrictive than 64, its levels infinitely more headache-inducing than sunshine, its aesthetic far less inspired than galaxy, and is still handily my least favorite 3D mario.
hence my groaning! this game very much looked to be a redux of that mario odyssey framework but you're playing as Awesome Gorilla instead. however, i forgot one simple thing about the relationship between mario and donkey kong games:
mario does something okay and then donkey kong comes and KNOCKS IT OUT OF THE FUCKING PARK
i mean, the signs should have been there for me, man. i'm kinda cooled down on mario world, but i still love the donkey kong country trilogy. new super mario bros. makes me fearful that any franchise i love could have any personality stripped away from it at any moment for upwards of a decade, but the dual hitters of dkc returns and tropical freeze reminded me that you can breathe new life into two of the most beautiful, excellent platformers ever made if you have time and any degree of a shit to give. fuck, dawg, even dance dance revolution mario mix goes ghastly white before the kino of donkey konga and jungle beat. i will happily hold that what mario does fine, donkey kong does fucking excellently.
and this game is no exception to that. this game is genuinely fucking fantastic.
just on a baseline, most of my complaints about odyssey are gone; there is a focus on distinct a handful of story-based upgrades and a singular base donkey kong moveset that's packed to the gills with options, as opposed to needing to swing your hat at everything and pray that it does something useful to actually have some moves. the game is truly a joy to control, even just in movement; jumping, diving, rolling, all feel so intrinsically satisfying, doubly so when paired up with the destruction mechanics - i'll touch on those shortly. secondly, that whole "having to engage with the content" qualm is entirely erased from this game, nuked from fucking orbit. not only are bananas actually fun to collect and usually placed behind genuinely engaging bits of gameplay, but they're outright not required for progression, only gating some helpful, if mildly superfluous upgrades, but they are upgrades that will definitely aid you in a first playthrough.
that's something about this game's design that i adore; it seems to beg for repeat playthroughs. there's so many little things sprinkled through to give you little beginner's assistances, such as the aforementioned banana upgrades that you can forego if you master the tools you're given as they come, and perhaps a very interesting one that i grew to adore the idea of, the little getaways. these are little houses that you can build, and each one you build in a layer gives you more regenerative yellow hearts when you sleep at them, whilst simultaneously acting as checkpoints and valid places to teleport to (or, sorry, teeleport, as though that pun makes sense). this alone was super welcoming, because if i had the gold to spare - and trust me, when you're losing yourself on that first playthrough making full use of donkey kong's strength, you are going to have gold - i could make an upcoming section easier on myself by buying up a house and having a kip and then blazing on through, or i could buy one at the end of that same section to be able to teleport and forego it later. but, likewise, if you come back to the game on another playthrough, you're never forced to buy them, so you can forego them for that little extra challenge. it's wonderful!
and i suppose i ought to get to it... the destruction mechanics. holy shit, this is arguably the part i was most scared for. after learning that your destruction abilities were able to be all over the level, and it would reset if you went in to any sub-level, i was mortified. i thought that my OCD was gonna murder me for trying to get through this game. however, i forgot one crucial element: my mind is a constant war of the twin snakes of both OCD and ADHD, so if the destruction simply takes a while, i'm more likely to abandon it. thankfully, bananza must have seen into my mind, because with just how much destructible terrain there is, it would have taken me until they release bananza 2 to get it all done, i swear to christ. that's also coupled with the fact that as the game progresses, the terrain strength gradually gets harder (density) as the levels do (difficulty). i think that these are really great ways to incentivize not smashing literally every square inch of these beautifully crafted playgrounds of stages.
that said, i did still want to smash quite a fair few square inches of every single one of these stages. holy shit. this destruction feels amazing. it, alone, lends this game so much more depth, both physically and metaphorically. bananas are hidden in so many little nooks and crannies, little caves hide fun challenge levels, so many routes can be forged by your own two big meaty gorilla fists by just punching yourself a path through shit until you get to where you wanna be. this. this is freedom in these games again, man. this is exactly the feeling i got in my soul as a kid playing mario 64 and discovering how to do the side-flip to skip needing the cannon in shoot to the wild blue in whomp's fortress. but it's that same childlike joy spread across a whole game of discoveries! it's a joy to experience just how your own imagination can let you feel like a scurrying little mole on an adventure in these stages and i very much approve.
and of course, just as everyone and their mother has said at this point, and i find myself inclined to agree; that ending is fucking crazy. seriously, i won't divulge here, but please, if you've left this game on the shelf for a while like i did, go back and finish it off. it's nuts. fuck, bananas. god damn it
so, these are indeed, as a wise man once said, some pretty cool bananas. but, there seems to be a star missing from the rating there. why is that?
well, just a few tiny little reasons, really. i thought that the boss fights were either repetitive slogs or over far too quickly from my experience, and considering that you have to do one at the end of nearly every layer, it does sort of dampen my enjoyment of those bosses somewhat.
secondly, i know that this might not go down well, especially considering the praise i just had for the finale, but i really cannot get away with pauline in most of the game. in cutscenes she's fine! cute, even! i really like the chemistry that her and DK share in most of the cutscenes, although i do think that the reveal that it was pauline should have:
A) come a fair bit later into the game and
B) not have been spoiled at a fucking nintendo direct. i mean, really, we used to have to play the games to find that shit out. imagine if kojima just straight-up said "oh yeah you're this new dude" in the trailers of metal gear solid 2. totally square comparison, right?
but, in gameplay, her constant quips got to be irritating rather quickly. yes, i know she's a child and yes i know that is what children can be like, but at the same time, do you really think i was off my tits playing this game on my wife's 50-inch tv sat on the couch with her and my husband trying to get a realistic child simulator? no, i was there to play funny monkey smash smash game and hear him going "hoohooHOOOhoo". it's nowhere near as frustrating as Other Certain Child Characters, certainly no baby mario, but whilst it doesn't quite get fully on my tits, it does still nestle on there to such a degree that it warrants mentioning and did start to grate a little bit when i was having to go through sections multiple times and she had scripted dialogue.
overall, though, donkey kong bananza stands as the best 3D platformer that nintendo's put out, arguably ever. it's swimming with depth, oozing with discovery, and very much invites you to join in its fun and gives you repeat invites to do so. this is the singular reason to get a switch 2 right now - although, even then, i would arguably hold your horses on that because it's still too damn expensive. i actively went to gamestop stoned to go get a switch 2 the day before this game dropped whilst in texas because i wanted to play 60fps switch 1 games without melting my GPU, and this was just a must-buy at a time of already having made a deeply impulsive purchase. thank you to my loves for escorting my shredded ass to the store even when i could barely walk (disability related. not the drugs).
